Bill finally cut bait.  He was done coaching Travis.  The national sales meeting was the last straw.  Travis was astonished.  “Why now?  I thought the meeting was a huge success.”

“Travis, for six months you have paid me for advice, and you have never once tried to follow any of my directions.  You nod your head and then you ignore what I have said.  And I am not the only one!”

The Deaf Leader is an OxyMORONic Leader

The Firing Of A Coach

“What do you mean?  You spoke to other people about me?  I didn’t hire you to interrogate my staff.  I hired you as a leadership coach!” Travis was steaming.

“Yes you did hire me as a coach, Travis.  You even invited me to watch this meeting and give your feedback.  But, this will be the our last coaching session.

It is not fair to you if I continue in that role.  I am obviously not having the impact we had hoped. Therefore,  I am firing myself.”

What The Coach Saw

“You do not listen Travis.  You ask for advice, and then you go your own way.  People no longer believe you truly want their advice.

I’ve prepared a list for you.  It details each time you asked for advice about this meeting and your response to that advice.”

The Coach’s List

Your Boss:  You asked her for advice on addressing the national sales force in the opening session.  She told you to keep your presentation to 3 slides and focus your message on customer service.  With only 10 minutes allotted to you, she felt it was better to go deep on one subject than wide on a few.

What You Did:  You had three points, and each point had 3 sub-points.  Your allotted time was 10 minutes.  You went 22 minutes.

Your Peers:  You asked for help with the content of your talk from 2 of your more tenured peers.  They each spent 1-2 hours with you apiece helping you narrow your focus and refine your main points.

You sent me a copy of the presentation.  It looked succinct and on target.  I told you it was spot on.

What You Did:  You changed the presentation after they worked with you on it.  You added 6 slides and changed the focus of the entire presentation.

Your People:  During your breakout session, you facilitated a brainstorming session on how to best deal with the emergence of a new competitor.  There was a list of 15 tactics that your team suggested.  Of those fifteen tactics, only three of them were your ideas.

What You Did:  The three tactics you directed your team to use were the three that came from you.  You told them they could try any of the other tactics, but you would be measuring those three.

Travis’s Reaction

“Are you telling me I have to do what every one else suggests?  I’ll just be blown around in the wind like that feather in Forest Gump!

I heard what those people suggested.  I really did.  But in the end I felt more comfortable going with my gut.”

The Coach Delivers A Reality Check

“Look Travis.  You hired me because you thought last year’s 360 Degree Leadership Survey was inaccurate.  You felt like you were respected by your boss, your peers and your people.  But, the problem is much clearer to me now.

You may believe they respect you.  But, do they believe you respect them?  I am not  even sure your respect me.

If the advice I am asked for is repeatedly ignored, it is easy to assume that person doesn’t respect me.  That person either doesn’t respect me or that person has an ego too big to accept advice.

Whatever the reason, that 360 Degree Leadership Survey should be taken seriously.  Just hearing people give you advice is not the same as truly listening to the advice.”

Epilogue

At dinner that night Travis’s wife asked, “Did you open your speech with that story I told you to avoid?”

“Yes”

“Oh I wish you hadn’t.  I think it could be offensive to some people and really honey, it is not as funny as you think.”

“Well I told the story.  I like that story.”

“Did anyone laugh?”

“I’m not sure. I wasn’t listening.”

The Bottom Line:

Leaders who consistently ignore input from everyone will soon be leading no one.  A Deaf Leader is an OxyMORONic Leader.

As Bill, the leadership coach said, it is either a lack of respect for others or too much faith in one’s self that causes people to ignore wise counsel.

I have sat under leaders who ask for input, nod their head and then consistently ignore the input they requested.  Those leaders soon lost their team.  One even lost their job.

A real leader is not afraid of the opinions of others.  In fact real leaders relish the opinions of others because they know how incomplete their own perspective is. A real leader listens.

Information is power.  The more information and perspectives I gain as a leader, the better decisions I will make.  I still may end up going with my gut occasionally, but it will not be until after I am sure I have explored other good options.

Question:

When a leader consistently ignores your advice, how much trust do you have in him?